


Mad Scientist and Evil Henchmen Employment Agency

by Amaltheia (TheDivineGoat)



Category: Mutant X
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-10
Updated: 2002-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-02 14:03:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDivineGoat/pseuds/Amaltheia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How can Eckhart afford to keep throwing his henchmen into stasis?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mad Scientist and Evil Henchmen Employment Agency

**Author's Note:**

> Mutant X and Mason Eckhart are the property of Tribune Entertainment Co and no infringement is intended. The Mad Scientist and Evil Henchmen Employment Agency and Janice are my invention and are able to provide personnel for carrying out Evil Plans™ and Iniquitous Plots™ at a reasonable rate.
> 
> It seems that every week each episode ends the same way. Mutant X has foiled the GSA, and Eckhart throws the unfortunate subordinate responsible for this failure into stasis. How can he afford this high turnover of staff? Surely he's going to run-out of members of staff soon. Maybe this is why he doesn't worry.

"Mad Scientist and Evil Henchmen Employment Agency. How can I help you?"

"My name is Mason Eckhart, I have an account with you. I'm wondering if you have any suitable candidates for a vacancy that's, um, emerged."

"Ah Mr Eckhart, if you just hold on I'll put you through to Janice who's dealing with your account... Janice, I've got that weirdo on line 2 for you. He's canned another henchman."

"Oh god, not again. Alright put him through… Good Morning Mr Eckhart, I understand you require a new henchman. May I ask why this position is vacant?"

"Yet again my natural pessimism has been affirmed by yet another henchman's inability to live up to my exacting standards."

"Er...?"

"He was unable to complete an experiment due to my security forces inability to prevent my adversaries from destroying an essential component of said experiment."

"But surely that isn't his… Oh never mind. Well, I'll have look through our database. I believe a law-firm in LA has just downsized releasing a number of henchmen onto the market, although I believe some of those affected by the down-sizing are unfortunately no longer available to other employers. Do you have any particular requirements?"

"The usual - a clean bill of health, an unmovable confidence in their ability to do the job required of them in the face of horrific penalties for failure. Owning a large black coat, preferably leather, would be a plus, although I can supply that. They also need to either be a sycophant or have a completely disregard for authority. I want no middle-of-the-roaders."

"Right. I'll see what I can do, if I can come back to you tomorrow?"

"That will be acceptable, although I hold out no hope of you succeeding."

"Er, right. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"There is one thing. The question of the finders fee I paid you for placing the last candidate."

"Yes…"

"Your contract does state quite clearly that if the candidate fails to complete the induction period, a refund is applicable, payable on a sliding scale relative to how long the candidate survived before being terminated."

"Yes, but you will also recall that in your contact we put in a clause stating that the candidate had to be available to us for re-assignment, not in stasis. Is this the case?"

"Failure must be punished or there will be no respect."

"Right. I'm afraid no refund is due in this case then. Will that be all?"

"Yes. I await your call tomorrow."

"Til tomorrow then, goodbye."

"Goodbye."


End file.
